{"id":22543,"date":"2022-06-07T20:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-06-08T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wpdev.mom.com\/momlife\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like"},"modified":"2024-09-25T17:07:03","modified_gmt":"2024-09-25T21:07:03","slug":"this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like","title":{"rendered":"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like"},"content":{"rendered":"

Fifteen years ago, my husband and I decided to grow our family by adoption<\/a>. We had no idea how arduous the homestudy — that’s the getting-ready-to-legally-adopt—process — would be. When we got through the interviews, background checks, training, and home inspection, our social worker handed us some checklists, asking us to make our selections.<\/p>

I often refer to these as the “dreaded checklists,” because they can a hopeful adoptive parent feel conflicted and downright rotton. These checklists ask what a parent will and won’t be open to in a child they will adopt, including medical conditions. Another thing hopeful parents have to select is what type of adoption<\/a> they will consider: open, semi-open, or closed adoption.<\/p>

My husband and I, completely new to adoption, tried to be as middle-of-the-road as possible, checking all the “middle” boxes which mostly indicated “maybe” or “will consider.” As far as how much communication we wanted to have with our child’s biological parents, we checked “semi-open” or “open.” We knew from talking to other adoptive parents and adoptees — that’s people who were adopted — that having some access to a relationship with their birth parents could be healthy — even happy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fifteen years ago, my husband and I decided to grow our family by adoption. We had no idea how arduous the homestudy — that’s the getting-ready-to-legally-adopt—process — would be. When we got through the interviews, background checks, training, and home inspection, our social worker handed us some checklists, asking us to make our selections.I often […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":200485,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_cover_media_provider":"image","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_cover_video_id":0,"apple_news_cover_video_url":"","apple_news_cover_embedwebvideo_url":"","apple_news_is_hidden":"","apple_news_is_paid":"","apple_news_is_preview":"","apple_news_is_sponsored":"","apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":[],"apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[77,76],"tags":[572,2239],"featured":[],"internal-tag":[],"series":[97],"class_list":{"2":"type-post"},"acf":[],"apple_news_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\nThis Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"We chose to do an open adoption with all four of our kids and the journey has been so worth it\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\""Our attitude regarding open adoption is the more the merrier. We often tell people that we don\u2019t have a family tree. We have a family orchard."\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Mom.com\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2022-06-08T00:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-09-25T21:07:03+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iStock-846755968-scaled.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2560\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1707\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\""Our attitude regarding open adoption is the more the merrier. We often tell people that we don\u2019t have a family tree. We have a family orchard."\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"\",\"@id\":\"\"},\"headline\":\"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-06-08T00:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-09-25T21:07:03+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like\"},\"wordCount\":205,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iStock-846755968-scaled.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"adoption\",\"open adoption\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Adoption & Surrogacy\",\"Getting Pregnant\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like\",\"name\":\"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iStock-846755968-scaled.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2022-06-08T00:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-09-25T21:07:03+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"\"},\"description\":\"We chose to do an open adoption with all four of our kids and the journey has been so worth it\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iStock-846755968-scaled.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iStock-846755968-scaled.jpg\",\"width\":2560,\"height\":1707,\"caption\":\"iStock\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Getting Pregnant\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/\",\"name\":\"Mom.com\",\"description\":\"Pregnancy, Parenting, Lifestyle, Beauty: Tips & Advice\",\"alternateName\":\"Mom.com\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/mom.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like","description":"We chose to do an open adoption with all four of our kids and the journey has been so worth it","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like","og_description":"\"Our attitude regarding open adoption is the more the merrier. We often tell people that we don\u2019t have a family tree. We have a family orchard.\"","og_url":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like","og_site_name":"Mom.com","article_published_time":"2022-06-08T00:00:00+00:00","article_modified_time":"2024-09-25T21:07:03+00:00","og_image":[{"width":2560,"height":1707,"url":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iStock-846755968-scaled.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_title":"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like","twitter_description":"\"Our attitude regarding open adoption is the more the merrier. We often tell people that we don\u2019t have a family tree. We have a family orchard.\"","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like"},"author":{"name":"","@id":""},"headline":"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like","datePublished":"2022-06-08T00:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2024-09-25T21:07:03+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like"},"wordCount":205,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iStock-846755968-scaled.jpg","keywords":["adoption","open adoption"],"articleSection":["Adoption & Surrogacy","Getting Pregnant"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like","url":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like","name":"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iStock-846755968-scaled.jpg","datePublished":"2022-06-08T00:00:00+00:00","dateModified":"2024-09-25T21:07:03+00:00","author":{"@id":""},"description":"We chose to do an open adoption with all four of our kids and the journey has been so worth it","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iStock-846755968-scaled.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/iStock-846755968-scaled.jpg","width":2560,"height":1707,"caption":"iStock"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant\/this-is-what-open-adoption-is-really-like#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/mom.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Getting Pregnant","item":"https:\/\/mom.com\/getting-pregnant"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"This Is What Open Adoption Is Really Like"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/mom.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/mom.com\/","name":"Mom.com","description":"Pregnancy, Parenting, Lifestyle, Beauty: Tips & Advice","alternateName":"Mom.com","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/mom.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"}]}},"publishpress_future_action":{"enabled":false,"date":"2026-02-10 13:35:12","action":"change-status","newStatus":"draft","terms":[],"taxonomy":"category","extraData":[]},"publishpress_future_workflow_manual_trigger":{"enabledWorkflows":[]},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22543","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22543"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22543\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22635,"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22543\/revisions\/22635"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/200485"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22543"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22543"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22543"},{"taxonomy":"featured","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/featured?post=22543"},{"taxonomy":"internal-tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/internal-tag?post=22543"},{"taxonomy":"series","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/series?post=22543"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}